God doesn’t arrest me often. But every now and then he makes it very clear that he is trying to tell me something. And he is telling me to rest. Interesting too, because I was actually about to start a Bible Study for our Fall semester entitled “Beside Still Waters.”

For the last two years I’ve gone hard. Full throttle. Poured myself into ministry and not looked back. Until now. Now that life has drastically changed. On our honeymoon one evening Philly and I were talking about goals we had for this next year. One of mine was to simplify life. To let go of some things. I was thinking letting go of my singles blog, since I’m no longer single, but now that my book Flying Solo is coming out in January that isn’t an option. Not doing a Bible Study for a semester hadn’t even been on my radar. Until two weeks ago.

I had just paid the deposit for the facility and had a meeting to cover all of our bases for what we’d be responsible for at the church that we use. I was walking to my car when I checked my email and saw the revised flier for our new study in my inbox. I clicked it open, needing to get it printed, so we could advertise it at VBS- only to have my Father arrest me. The picture of the father holding the hand of the child in this beautiful, serene environment caught me. “I want you to get away with me.” I heard him whisper.

“I can’t,” was my immediate response. Yeah, you heard me I told God “I can’t.” After all I was just about to advertise it, I had just put down a deposit, I was finalizing the flier, and women were already asking if we were doing a new one. People were counting on me and all was in motion. I pushed it away. Even though it had stopped me dead in my tracks, I just pushed it away. Until the next morning when I was sitting out on my front porch having my devotion and it said the same thing. That there were seasons of rest. I sat there staring at the black and white words on the page of my devotional. “God are you really asking me not to do a Bible Study this semester?” I looked up and the STOP sign at the end of the street said it all over again.

“I hear you.” I said. But my flesh wanted no part of it. My flesh wanted “my” Bible Study. I felt the Father prick my heart again. “That is another reason you need to step back, it’s not yours. It’s mine.” Wow, didn’t see that coming. And so I opened up my hands and surrendered it back to my Father. And immediately sent out the message that there would be no study for the fall.

It’s interesting. Here I was about to begin teaching a Bible Study on the 23rd Psalm and having moments where God leads us “beside still waters.” And no one needed the still waters more than me. Why are we so afraid life can’t move on without us? Or maybe it’s just the opposite. Maybe we’re afraid life can move on without us and so we’re not as important as we desire to be. Either way our pride can quickly cause us to miss what God desires to say to us.

Philly asked me last night, “Babe, do you have any idea why God is asking you to do this?” I said, “I think personally it’s for quite a few reasons. But I’m not sure completely.” And I’m not sure what all God will reveal during this “being still” season. But what I do know is I need it desperately. I miss Him. I’ve been so busy in the doing, especially since I got married, the acclimating to life, the meals, the grocery shopping, the teaching, the preparing, the doing, that I’ve missed Him.

I haven’t found that “place” yet. Our communion place. Everywhere I’ve ever lived, we’ve had a “place.” I haven’t found a “place” yet here where he and I can meet. If I do nothing else this season, I want to find that place. I may try every room in the house and outside of the house, but I want “our” place. And I’m looking forward to being still.

Did you know that life is more than capable of going on without us. But we are not capable of going on without Him. I need Him now more than I ever have. And you might too. Know what else. He misses us to. So much so that sometimes he will arrest us from ourselves. Do you need to be still? He only asks us to because He wants to enjoy us. I’m looking forward to it…want to join me?