Someone said the other day on Facebook to me, “I bet your going to change it to Monthly Musings.” I laughed then, but she may be right. I’ve just decided to write when I feel like I have something to say. Which might not be as often since I’m using up a lot more words now during the week.
But I got to sit by some quiet waters this week. I was desperate for it. Having lived for so long without children and only getting my three nieces for one full week out of the year I’m not used to so much activity. Two dogs need to be fed, pooped and occasionally walked, but they don’t require the energy of five children. We had the kids for five days last weekend and I never knew, first, that food could disappear that quick, or that you could be in the car for eight hours and never leave your own city! One lady told a friend of mine that she didn’t know what the big deal was, she had five kids. My friend said, “But you didn’t get them all in one day.” And I wanted to add, “Nor did you get three headed into puberty!”
On Tuesday morning I was dropping the four youngest off at school and got a lump in my throat thinking about not seeing them until Friday. I spent the rest of the morning running errands and about two o’clock that afternoon I felt like I had been run over by a Mack Truck. I could hardly hold my head up. I was headed to meet a friend for an early dinner and hadn’t planned on getting a coke, but changed my mind… Multiple times over the weekend my husband would ask me,“You okay babe?” And I just kept saying, “I’m so tired.” What I realized was that the mental energy it takes to navigate five hearts can make a girl tired.
So, Thursday morning when we were in Atlanta I didn’t have anything pressing to get up for and it was a good thing, because I couldn’t hardly get up. I was dead to the world. It was nine o’clock Atlanta time before I ever lifted my head up off of the pillow, and I’m not sure I would have done it then if Philly hadn’t come to tell me goodbye. At one point late on Thursday afternoon after having a sweet day of work I took a run and then went down to sit in a swing by the lake at our friend’s house. I grabbed a book (one I’m actually getting to read-Staying True by Jenny Sandford) and just sat. And while I was there I thought about the scripture from the 23rd Psalm. “He makes me lie down in green pastures. He leads me beside quiet waters.”
He didn’t necessarily have to make me lie down today. My body demanded it. But He did sweetly give me the opportunity for some quiet waters. But there have been times He’s had to make me lie down. Like the times I forget what Sabbath is for. That it is there to replenish me. To rejuvenate me. And so, he will allow something to come, maybe a good old fashion cold that confines me to my bed and forces me to rest.
But what about the times he leads us to quiet waters? Do we quiet ourselves? Do we quiet our soul? Are we able to even dwell in quiet? I walked into a home the other day of a person I don’t really know and almost every television in their home was on. And when I see something like that I immediately think, “Do they know how to be alone?” I used to crave noise. Because noise drowned out the screaming in my own heart of my own pain. But I have learned to love quiet.
Quiet is this sweet place where we can sweetly commune with our Father. It can be in the car, lying in the bed at night, sitting beside a lake, or waiting in the car pick-up line before all mayhem breaks loose in the car. Quiet is a heart place. A heart willing to get quiet is a heart willing to hear what God is speaking to it. A heart that runs from quiet is a heart who isn’t ready to face what is really in the depths of its own soul.
The weekend for me had brought some inner struggle. And I needed to quiet my soul before my Father, because I needed Him to speak to me. God speaks sweetly in quiet. We need quiet. We need it desperately. And if you are running from it you are probably running from something much bigger, yourself, your pain, your stuff. That is why at times he will make us lie down, because he loves us enough to make us confront our stuff.
If you get a chance this week allow Him to lead you to some “quiet water”. He will you know. He’ll nudge you to turn off the radio, turn off the television, and enjoy the beauty of quiet. Because do you know what comes after that passage? “He restoreth my soul.”
Quiet places are restoring and replenishing places. We had the kids this weekend. And that quiet place…that lying down place, renewed me, refreshed me, and gave me the energy for three birthday parties, two baseball games, two sleep-overs, two sets of grandparents, one reception, one small group meeting and a good old fashioned game of Laser-Tag! Hello Monday! I’m looking for some quiet waters….
