Today- I’m up at 2:30 trying to adjust to the time zone in Israel. And on Saturday when I boarded the plane this is what I ended up writing in my journal and thought it was appropriate for today…would appreciate your prayers as I walk out this week.

You never cease to amaze me- first you seclude me from all distractions and I hear you loud and clear. And You speak so precious and so lovingly to me. It wasn’t until I got in the car to head to the airport that I thought, “What in the world am I doing.” I am leaving my family over the holidays. I’m leaving the people that I love for ten days. I’m going halfway across the world with a bunch of virtual strangers. What was I thinking?” The beauty is that You haven’t allowed me much time to think about my trip. Life has been so full that this hasn’t been in the forefront of my mind. And I think You knew that was best.

Because I’m sitting in the airport thinking, “I’ve got just a few minutes to still get out of here.” And yet I didn’t run. Wouldn’t have minded it. But didn’t do it. Found myself exceptionally emotional. Emotion I didn’t expect. But just a deep heaviness that I didn’t want to leave. Then mom reminds me on the phone, “You can call us any time baby if you need us and we can call you.” At a bank busting price, but none the less it brought me comfort. She was right. We could talk if we needed to. I brought two credit cards, and I can talk as much as I want!

But it was You that ended up talking to me through the girl in seat 6B- Rachel. A girl until today I had never met. The last six days have been full of extreme self-doubt. Doubt that had me questioning if the last two years I had even heard You at all. Doubt that found me double-minded, and unstable in all my ways. Doubt that could crush what You are about to do and offer through my own personal journey for others healing.

And as I asked Rachel about her story she began to describe to me the ridiculous and beautiful detail in which You had spoken to her heart and life. Detail that caused her to give her heart to You almost a year ago. Detail that as she shared, reminded me that that was the same detail You have used in my life over the last two and a half years. And I’m not to doubt it now. I’m to continue to trust it. I began to weep as she finished her story. I’m sure she thought I was crazy being so overwhelmed by her story. But it wasn’t as much her story that overwhelmed me as it was the You in her story. The detailed love of my beautiful Father, who has so detailed lovingly loved me.

There are times I myself have thought I was a freak. They way I’ve heard You. Felt You. Listened to You. The way You’ve shown up. But I realized on this little Delta plane headed to JFK, that You desire to talk to us out of that detailed love. And I was allowing You to speak to me this way tonight.

An hour ago I wanted to run out of the airport and go home. Now, I can’t wait to see what You desire to show me in Israel. The details of Your love.

When Rachel finished her story she asked me what I did. “A couple of things.” I said. “I write fiction about crazy southern people and I teach Bible studies.”
Her eyes widened. “I know you. You were that lady that spoke that Sunday with Jamie (my pastor). That was the Sunday that I went up to him and told him that I was ready to figure out my life. The Sunday I came back to church. I even wrote down something that you said. About no longer being the victim. That your past wasn’t the whole of your story, but just a piece of  it.”

That got me too. A year ago, this young woman had no idea that I would need her tonight on a plane headed for Israel. But You did. You knew. You knew I needed her. And You brought her to seat 6B to remind me of the details of Your love. I’m so grateful at your extravagant love. I’m so grateful to hear You in the details of my life. And I’m so grateful for Rachel and her story. She had needed my story a year ago. I needed her story tonight. But more than that I needed You in her story.