He was burly and young. Like a teddy bear honestly. And he sat across from me last Wednesday night with the sweetest spirit and softest response. I had been invited to minister at a Bible Study in one of my friend’s homes to a group of young adults. Anywhere from 18-26. They were attentive and responsive. And when I talked about my own place of personal shame their faces registered their own.
We all know shame. Well, we all know it though some of us will never admit it. But oddly, it’s those who never admit it that never move past it. And I’ve discovered that shame and regret are two of the enemies greatest weapons. Why? Because they keep us from doing anything effective for God.
I shared with them about the Apostle Peter and how he denied Jesus three times. And in that final denial we’re told that Jesus actually caught his eye. Can you imagine that! Can you imagine if in our moments where we have failed Jesus or denied Jesus we would actually see Him eye to eye, face to face. The shame would only be compounded.
And yet in a sweet exchange in the Gospel of John Jesus finds Peter back out fishing. He is, I believe, gone back to the place where Jesus found him the first time. And in this moment, when Peter realized it is Jesus he and Jesus have an exchange that goes something like this.
“Peter, do you love me?”
Peter drops his head, digs his foot into the cool sand. “Lord, you know I love you.”
Jesus reaches over and raises his chin. “Feed my sheep.”
There is an awkward moment. But Jesus won’t let it go. “Peter, do you love me.”
This time Peter looks him in his eyes. “Lord, you know I love you.”
Jesus nods. “Feed my sheep.”
The extent of all that Jesus is asking not completely registering. Jesus asks again. “Peter, do you love me.”
This time Peter wants him to know clearly. He steps forward, places his hands o Jesus’ arms and looks him straight in his face. His voice sure and stead. “Lord, you know I love you.”
Jesus smiles. Peter has gotten it. “Feed my sheep.”
Three times Peter denied Jesus and I believe Jesus was giving him the opportunity to undo the shame that had been done. And after that encounter Peter becomes the “rock” he had been called to be. He preaches a revival where 3000 people are converted and the church as we know it was begun.
If he had not allowed Jesus to erase the shame, wash over the regret, and remind him of his purpose, what would have happened? Who would have gotten the honor of starting the church?
That young man sat across from me after I shared this story and said, “I’ve been trying to get away from my shame and regret all day. I’ve been trying to distract myself from even dealing with it, or admitting it. I so needed to hear that tonight. that He loves me. He really loves me.”
I can’t wait to see the “feed my sheep” moments this young man is going to have. I can’t wait to see the lives that are going to be changed because he is going to refuse to any longer live in a place of shame and regret. Because the only thing those two things accomplish are wasted dreams and thwarted destinies. Forgiveness is the whole reason Jesus died. And he paid way to high a price for you and I to not be willing to receive it.
