Last week as I was sitting on my parent’s front porch I was reminded of something John Eldridge said in his book, Walking with God, that I read last summer. He said a lot of mornings he will sit with his Bible and ask God what He wants him to read for that morning. I hadn’t done that in a while. But on that morning I did. I asked. He answered. And led me to Romans 12:1-3.

It was the third verse that helped me understand verses one and two and it led me back to a discussion we had at our village a couple months ago. Our village meets every Wednesday night and is the equivelent of a small group. As we were talking about pain and suffering one of the men made the comment that he tries to live his life in a way where he sees everything as a privilege instead of entitlement.

“Entitlement”. That word struck me. It could be the quintessential definition of this age. But to read Romans twelve it is readily apparent it’s been around for quite a while. The feeling that life owes me. The mindset that to receive less than perpetual blessing is somehow a character flaw of God. From the fast food line to the “20 items or less” lane at Walmart our lives are consumed with our sense of what we deserve. We deserve to be served quickly. We deserve to be recognized promptly. We deserve healthy children, We deserve endless supply. We deserve marriages that work. We deserve to never suffer. We deserve…we deserve…we deserve. The thought clings to our marrow and becomes our reality. And when challenged we charge.

But Paul said, “For by the grace (unmerited favor of God) given to me I warn every one among you not to estimate and think of himself more highly than he ought…”

You know why I can receive this from Paul? Is because he got it first. He’s come to terms with who he is before he reminds me of how I should live. He says, “It is only because of the unmerited favor of god that I can offer you anything.” Basically, “I did nothing on this earth to even deserve an ounce of God’s kindness. His grace, extended in any measure, is unwarranted, undeserved, and indescribably kind.” Then he proceeds to tell us that we shouldn’t “estimate ourselves more highly than we really are.”

The beauty is that when I get the truth held in verse three then I can live out verses one and two. And then I realize that anything I have is simply because God is good and desires to give good gifts to His children. That I’m not all that! And if I live in health, walk in wholeness, and have some money in my checkbook it’s because He made provision for them. Because He has privileged me with His blessing. Not because there was something in me that could earn my way there or be good enough to merit his favor. Or because I am entitled.

Want to know what can shatter an entitlement spirit? A real picture of our personal sin. Live out a moment in life where shame is your companion, where a sense of your own failures wash over you, and all sense of entitlement vanishes. Recently, I was sitting in front of drug addicts, and recently paroled women and was sharing with them about my own moment of personal shame. I told them about the religious background I had come out of and that for me the stigma of divorce was the greatest level of shame I could know. Throw me in prison, let my old high school friends find out I was a thief or a drug addict, or sold myself for my next fix, and nothing would have filled me with more shame than to stamp the big D on my head and tell the world I was incapable of making my marriage work when my background assured me that those who divorced were as worthless as Hester Prynne in The Scarlett Letter.

And in that place of shame, God led me to His grace. It wasn’t a shame I chose to live in, because I know “there is therefore now no condemnation to those who are in Christ Jesus.” But it was a moment that allowed me to realize how truly amazing God is. In my place of loss, God brought me to a revelation of the depths of His love that I had never known. That everything I have is a gift. Any day on my parents front porch, with cool temperatures, birds singing and life being lived, instead of passing me by, was a gift. The car I drive is a gift. The home I live in is a gift. The health I have is a gift. The friends that I am so blessed to share life with are a gift. My family is a gift. I am not an advocate for wearing a cloak of shame. I don’t believe that is God’s plan for any of us. He whom the Son has set free in free indeed. But moments of shame, if experienced but not soaked in, can bring unimaginable revelations of who God really is and desires to be and who we are not.

And when I realize how indescribably full of grace my Father is, then “presenting my body as a living sacrifice” is no longer about works. It is all about gratitude. “Not being conformed to this world- or this age…” is not a drudgery. It is a privilege. “The renewing of my mind” is a longing. A deep abiding hunger. And the “new ideals and new attitudes” that this acceptance of His grace produces is an incredible way to live.

I’m sure there will be moments that old sense of entitlment will raise its ugly head. I’ll get angry over something that doesn’t go the way I think it should. Or when a storm blows through I may have a moment where I get angry with God and begin to remind Him of who I am. And in His sweet way He will remind me of who He is. Of the depth to which His love went to save me from myself. And the places He continues to go each day to grab my heart and steal its affections. And my prayer is that I will become like Paul, where in my desire to remind others of the danger our arrogance can do, I would first remind myself of the unmerited favor that allows me to speak at all…