I should be in bed. It’s late. I’m getting up early to go to boot camp and then I’m heading to McDonald’s for my Saturday morning Coca-cola, right before I get my makeup and hair done to meet the man that I will spend the rest of my life with at the end of the altar. Mom and dad are already asleep in the other room. My nephew Jake is in my other guest bedroom. And one of my closest friends Lawana is in my bed. But something significant is happening tomorrow. And because of that it will change something that has been one of the most beautiful gifts I’ve known for the last, almost three years.

I have had an unobstructed view of my Father during this season of singleness. He has loved me in ways I didn’t know was possible. It’s been a detailed kind of love. In those early days of grieving after my divorce he and I would talk at all hours of the night when I couldn’t sleep. I’d just lay there in what often felt like  an empty bed and pour my soul out to him. He loved me in my details when I needed distractions and for months on end he sent my friends to come spend weekends with me to be tangible hands in a real and often gut wrenching place of pain. He loved me when he told me I didn’t have to go looking for a man, that he would bring His to me. He loved me when He asked me to go on a clothes fast for a year and then allowed me to watch as friends bought me clothes and gave me clothes. No one had ever given me clothes.  He loved me when he let me stay in my beautiful home for three years and then allowed it to sell right before I was about to step into a new journey of life and gave me the ability to bring complete and final closure to an old way of life. He loved me by letting me minister and giving me stories to tell and fulfilling a heart full of desire with the privilege of lavishing it on Him.

And then He told me that He wanted to walk me down the aisle tomorrow because He had fathered my heart during this season. So, He will. Tomorrow it will be just He and I walking down the aisle to “Great is they Faithfulness” and He will give me away. He will entrust me to the man He has chosen for me.

I’ll miss what I’ve known this season. I know when life changes everything changes. If I could bottle what I’ve known over these last three years I would give it to every person I knew. I would say, “There is no amount of money that could ever give you what a love like this can give you, it will heal you, restore you, love you, cry with you, laugh with you and make you fully alive.”

I move into this new season with beautiful expectation and I close this season with extreme gratitude that my Father would allow me a small glimpse into His lavish love. He has lavished me…wooed me…and captured me. And I will never be the same…