It’s a rare commodity these days. The real, genuine kind. Strong’s defines it as “goodness in action, sweetness of disposition, gentleness in dealing with others, benevolence…” What’s the last good thing we’ve done? Is our disposition more sour than sweet? How do we deal with those under our roof? In our families? At the line at Walmart? The TSA agent at the airport? The Comcast Customer Service agent? (I’ve gone to meddling.) I recently asked a Comcast agent if they had a manual on how to frustrate their customers. I say often no one can make me cuss or cry quicker than Comcast!

I’ve learned that God will keep those “abrasive” relationships in our lives until all of our sides are smooth. God is after a fruit of kindness. So God will allow that thing that pushes your buttons, challenges your temper, tests the boundaries of your grace to continue its pricking until our heart is completely and totally surrendered to Him. Does that mean we allow our hearts to be abused? No. But even in addressing abuse, other’s anger, or even their unjustified mistreatment our hearts and mouths have a choice on how to respond.

Over the last four years as bonus-mom to five (mostly hormonal) teenagers and tweens I have had my kindness tested over and over. Is it easy? No. Is it painful? I’ve had root canals more pleasant. But I have learned that a “gentle word can turn away wrath.” I’ve learned that meeting them with a response different than what they expect or are giving themselves speaks far louder than shouting ever would. Do I always get it right? Books could be written about how wrong I get it. But fruit is about abiding. And in abiding God meets us over and over again.

Today you have the opportunity to speak a kind word, determine to have a sweet disposition or deal gently with others. It comes much easier if you have met with God first. Fruit comes from abiding, not necessarily a determined will. Every one enjoys us far more when we have first been with Him.